I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
