I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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