So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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