someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
