Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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