I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
