so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
