I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
