You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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