you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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