he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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