Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
