Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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