I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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