have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
