What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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