And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
