problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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