Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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