Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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