In America we eat man semen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
