i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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