so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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