I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
