Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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