I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
