JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
