i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
