Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
All the doctor said was why
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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