if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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