If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
