dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we made out on top of his cat.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
