mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
