next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
