? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
