He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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