Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My dick has a subreddit
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
