doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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