Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
