in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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