note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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