sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
