A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
