I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
