whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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