Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I look better un-naked...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
