can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I need help removing her.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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