Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
