O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
