Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
