You work out of a Hotel?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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