The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
