i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You are the jesus of drinking
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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